the crazy dude next door

When I was in high school we lived in Washington, we had some interesting neighbors. There was this family that moved in next to us who came from one of the islands in the Pacific and they loved to throw parties and get smashed drunk. They were loud laughers. It was pretty funny to hear them bellow it out, sometimes. My sister was friends with this one neighbor down the street from us. This is the neighbor that has earned the above mentioned title as "the crazy dude". He was known to shout randomly at people passing by. Once he tried to sell his trash from his front yard and all kinds of stuff. So, we had a cat once by the name of Brandy. She was very outdoorsy and would come and go to fill up on cat food every now and then. Sometimes she would not come back for three or so days however this time it was maybe a week since she returned. I grew concerned and wondered if she was hit by a car. I was about ready to start printing out fliers with her picture on it until I get this phone call. I believe it went something like this, oh and keep in mind that this guy speaks slow and has a low tone;

"Hello?"

"Yeah, uhhh is this the owner of the cat named Brandy?"

"Yeah, I've been looking for her. Is she with you?"

"Yes, I've been keeping her here, and she seems to be doing well."

"Well, that's great and all. Do you think I can get her back?"

"I'll let her decide on that."

"You're keeping my cat?"

"I need a pet and she is a great animal to have around here."

(Saturated with much sarcasm)"...awesome..."

"Well, the reason I am calling you, is I have a question."

"....what's that?"

"Well, I was wondering if you might have any cat food for her."

"We have plenty of cat food here for her. If she wants some, she knows where to get it."

And I think right at this moment, he attempted to drop the F-bomb while hanging up on me. Hilarious.