it was as big as my hand!

So today I was reading an email from a friend of mine talking about the camel spiders overseas. That was enough to get me to keep looking over my shoulders while carrying holy water in my pocket along with the cross. Later this afternoon, I was cleaning our bedroom closet going through all my ish and papers that I feel are of worth but not enough to be organized. Moving towards one of the shelves I found. . . a visitor. To my imagination it was about eight feet tall weighing in a whopping 300 pounds with red eyes and fangs oozing with venom. I froze then calmly left the room. My wife trying to diagnose my issue as to why I was pale came to the conclusion that it was a spider. "If you lose its position, it will hide somewhere." Those words rang true to my ears. I dutifully went back in with a shower curtain pole and a shield of some sort. I crept back in our closet checking and clearing every nook and cranny with my defenses up. Surely enough, I confirmed IT'S location in the corner behind the clothes. "Did you kill it yet?" I knelt there staring at it as it was probably staring back at me. I guess you could say that we had ourselves a little stakeout. I just don't get it. The holy scriptures teach that all living things testify of God, but I think that the spiders testimony was omitted. It was a tense moment as I contemplated how I would execute the kill. Why couldn't I just smash it? Why is it so hard? I am a soldier trained to kill, so what was keeping me back? The clock was ticking and it maintained it's position. I imagined the spider wasn't moving as a means of intimidation almost like saying; "What? You gonna kill me? Really guy?" Missy peaks in around the door and instantaneously I gave out a battle cry as I went for it. I missed (even though it was three feet in front of me). I must've had my eyes closed. She ended up killing. I had to leave the room. Tonight a part of my dignity and personal courage has left.