Friday, February 2, 2018

Future Daughter

I stand there in the dark corridor not able to see fully with the few dim lights present, dotting a path further down. No doors on either side. Just blank walls. Suddenly a young woman approaches me out of the dark on the other end of the hallway. Her countenance is faint from where I stand – not able to discern any of her features just yet.  
               “Hey, how are you??” The young woman says as she finally gets close enough to me. Her features are familiar as if I knew her from somewhere. So strange that I remember her, but from where? It’s like the answer is at the tip of my tongue and I can’t spell it out.
               “Good, I suppose.” I scratch my head for a moment, “Do I know you?” I ask now more anxious than ever to solve this. She laughs, “Oh I think you know the answer to that question, c’mon, think harder.” At this point, her face appears more recognizable as that of my own. “You look like someone I know, but I can’t remember. What is your name?”
               “Natalie,”
               “Are you?”
               “That’s right, I’m your daughter.”
So many questions flood in, where do I begin. She is so much older now. What is this?
               “Wait a minute, how old are you now? Where did all the time go? Where are we by the way? What are you doing with your life?” I find myself slowly growing sadder. Overwhelmed with moments of imagining the years of neglecting her, as a parent. And that maybe I botched or was the cause of any possible ‘mishaps’ of missed opportunities of crucial quality moments with her all because I might’ve been distracted of my daily busy life with driving my ambitions to nowhere.
               “Relax and breath deep for me,” She coaches me with a smile. “You don’t need to worry about me.” She finishes calmly as if a doctor were reassuring a worried patient. “I am almost 30 and am working on my doctorate and have already received several civic awards and recognitions in my field of study. I have traveled around the world helping so many.” After she speaks on her accomplishments, I start to tremble uncontrollably,
“But did I mess you up? I know that you were like my first pancake. I’m so sorry if I missed out on trying to help you as a child. I know that I brushed you off countless times with work or just life in general?” I kneel down in shame and start to breakdown feeling a thick layer of regret sink into me. And suddenly she lifts me up and goes in for a warm embrace and looks up to me,
“You did everything you could, it’s not fair to beat yourself up. I love you and I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
I wake up finding myself in my bed. Aimlessly, I reach over for the clock which reads three in the morning. I quickly get out of bed and rush downstairs and stand outside six-year-old Natalie’s room marveling at her sleeping in her little bed in the stillness of the early morning. ‘What a dream’ I think to myself with great relief.



Friday, January 19, 2018

Mar-Queso Feature: Ice Choir



Hello Readers, Fellow Writers, Friends and Visitors!

Today, you are in for a real treat! I recently had the privilege of interviewing a very talented artist, Kurt Feldman and his current music project Ice Choir. Through a search on Soundcloud, I found his music by accident and it has been a blessed journey ever since. With being such a huge fan of his music, I am excited to share with you some insight into the creativity that went into developing the works that you can listen to below. Kurt has used various instruments and experimented heavily with sounds inspired from the earlier 8-bit days of video gaming. He previously helped formed the band The Depreciation Guild and occasionally has made music advertisement for various medias. Kurt currently resides in Brooklyn, New York.


MQ: How did you get into making music? Did you have any projects prior to Ice Choir that you were involved in? What was your inspiration?

KF: I started taking guitar lessons when I was 8. From middle school onward, I played in a bunch of angsty-teenager-rock bands, nothing of note there. Also played in some bands after college and toured around for a few years. When I was on tour, I started writing some songs out of admiration for the music I was listening to at the time, basically as a creative exercise to keep my brain form turning into oatmeal. That's where I wrote the first Ice Choir album.



MQ: Who would be your muse? If any?

KF: "Muse" is overly romantic for what I do... I get inspired by music that exists already and then I create a more warped facsimile of it.


MQ: Where there any challenges that occured during production with either the Afar album or the Designs in Rhythm album? Any doubts? If so, how did you overcome them?

KF: The main thing that sucks about doing everything yourself is that it's impossible to remain objective about your decisions. There's never anyone to sense-check whether your mix is totally f****d or if something is missing from the arrangement, etc. Also, recording and compiling your own vocals is the worst because 'every take is terrible'. You learn to live with the ones that bum you out the least.


MQ: What inspired you for creating the songs Visions of Hell 1996, Afar, or I Want You Now and Always? (By the way, your collaboration with Caroline Polachek for Everything is Spoilt by Use is incredible). 

KF: Columbine, Whimsy, and Obsession (Respectively)



MQ: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that you do music scores for marketing and advertisement as well. What is that process like? How do you draw in music for a product?

KF: Yeah, I work for an audio branding company called Listen in Manhattan. Sometimes I make music for advertisements / web / TV / etc. but most of the time I make audio logos (sounds you associate with a brand) and design sounds for apps, etc. We have specific approaches for how we create sounds that are expressions of a brand but I'll spare you those details.


MQ: On the track Peacock in the Tall Grass, did you by chance find synthesizer keyboard sounds from the SNES (Super Nintendo Entertainment System) Pilotwings video game (the Rocket Belt score) to help create the score for that particular track?

KF: Yeah, I didn't get it from there, although I do love all the sounds and music from that game. On the first Ice Choir album, I was really trying to channel my own sad-boy version of 'wistful hanglider sesh'.


MQ: If there were any changes, how did the production for your second album Designs in Rhythm differ from your debut album?

KF: I had 3+ more years experience when I finished Designs in Rhythm, so by then I was using a lot of different tools and approaches to songwriting.




MQ: How did you even begin to create the works of Variant, Amorous in Your Absence, Unprepared, and Windsurf??

KF: I start with a vibe/feel/tempo from some pre-existing song that I want to reference or ripoff  and then I just start dicking around on the computer with different chord changes, dressing it up with a bunch of shiny trash until it amuses me.




MQ: What do you hope your listeners get from your music? Aside from sales?

KF: I've always described Ice Choir as a very low-stakes venture; it's something I do as a fun brain puzzle and for my own professional edification (figuring out new recording / mixing technique, etc.). Writing the song is the valuable aspect for me, and then it goes out into the world where it becomes a useless souvenir. At that point, if someone discovers that bauble and it's charming or funny to them, great...I just don't have a specific audience in mind when I'm writing. Sales? lol.


MQ: Any plans for the rest of this year and 2018?

KF: I did a game soundtrack a couple years ago...I think it might actually be coming out in 2018.



For more information on Ice Choir, check out the official website at icechoir.com or check out the other following links

Soundcloud/theicechoir
Youtube/theicechoir
Twitter/theicechoir