look before you speak

Have you ever called someone by their name and was corrected by that person that that wasn't their name? Or mistakened siblings as a married couple? Oh how about this one, saying something right after somebody already mentioned that? The awful thing about blurting something out, is that you can never take it back. I know I've had my fair share of botched moments speaking without relecting on what the outcome would look like. Maybe it's the constant ongoing busy-ness of communicating right at that moment. There's no dry run, it's just go go go. It could be so busy that there is not enough time to think carefully before responding. Once at a work Christmas party I went to. I ran into an old friend. We caught up on the latest and greatest with past projects. I noticed that he had a drink in his hand and he seemed to have given me more credit than I deserved by laughing excessively at my jokes. I thought; "Nice, an easy crowd". Then as we continued talking I started to feel like the laughter was rigged. Like my jokes really weren't that funny and anything would make him roll on the floor crying out loud in bellows of delight. We continued on, then his girlfriend asked me in a joking manner if he was bothering me. I responded to something along the lines of; "Oh no, he's actually a lot nicer when he's drunk." He then stopped laughing and looked very confused. Then in the most sobering tone, said to me; "I'm not drunk". They then wrapped it up and said goodbye. There is a banner or a title that could speak for the story of my life which would say; "My name is Marquez Perez and I'm a dork" I say it to my wife almost everyday. Another instance was when I went to Canada at 17 years old. I was at the customs station waiting in line. The officer gave me a snarling look like I was a runaway. "Have you been to Canada before?" I agreed that I had been. Only it did not stop there - OF COURSE IT DIDN'T. I then told her that I lived there for a month with my friend's aunt and uncle. Before I continue with this, let me just point out that at a border patrol station the words "staying" and "living" dramatically mean two different things. So anyways, she then pulled a double take and questioned the word "lived". I thought she was going to pull her gun out on me. I then tried to redo the past by saying that I stayed, it was too late though. "Pull over there, dismount your bike, and step into our office". I was there for a grueling two hours being grilled, questioned, and interrogated about the same stuff they asked me earlier. Finally, they were convinced that I was simply "visiting" and they let me go, BUT WOW. What a pain in the neck! It'd be nice to freeze time at every response you were about to make and then you could proofread your answers before speaking them aloud thus preventing the possible humiliation that comes with not-so-smart choice of words and phrases. Maybe that is what makes life so rich. Without the mistakes, how would we grow? Or learn to speak better? We would be too hesitant to say anything and it most likely would not be from the heart. Just forgive yourself for the casualties along the way.