Progress Report - Motives

As writers, we all have motives for what we write. We have memories to re-live and issues to work out through stories, memoirs, essays, and so on. A very famous author once quoted "Tears are meant to be written down." With that I once went sort of mad trying to take on way too much in such a short amount of time. Years ago, I felt that I might've taken it too far, too deep and way too personal. Although, that can be argued as the best way to stick with a project, for me it felt like I wasn't ready. Like Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park said, "You willed it like a kid that found his dad's gun," Moving forward, I have learned (the hard way) to write responsibly.

Originally my motive was to get the story drafted, edited, queried, represented and mass distributed all within six months from start to finish already on the shelves of every bookstore out there...yeah that didn't work for painfully obvious reasons. On top of that I also had this looming fear that I could die at any given moment without finishing my story and that the world would never know of it's existence. Pretty dramatic right? Writing can be difficult, it demands honest effort, time and most importantly, it's supposed to be fun. That was the main thing that I was lacking at the trailhead of the journey. And because of that, it was excruciating. My work ethic was strict, but my inspiration was plugged up.

However, due to life and the busy demands that come with it, I have been forced to delay many opportunities to dive into it and smooth it out. Because of that, I have been able to mature as a writer and gain perspective and go back to correct the many mistakes that I overlooked. I had learned that I was running faster than I had strength and that writing can be very subtle almost unnoticeable but that it requires consistency. To this day, I fight to remember moderation in all things and as I have been told by a wise old friend, "just be cool."

Have you ever experienced that anxiety of giving yourself deadlines? What are some of your thoughts? How do you keep yourself in check of not flying off the handle? Go ahead, I'm listening.