Rocko's Killing Machine (Part Robin's Nest)

Rocko's Killing Machine is:
Max = Drums

Riley = Rhythm Guitar

Charlie = Bass

Tom = Lead Guitar/Vox

Jake = Keyboard/Everything else

“Hello everyone, we’re Jason Voorhees!” The fat man says as he readjusts the mic back to the stand. And just like that within mere seconds the amps blast out every single ear drum within a fifty-mile radius. All five of them thrash out on stage. The fat man turns and wrestles with himself like a grown man trying to get a kid size shirt off while revealing his glorified rounded gut. He screams some more into the mic with his tongue stretching out as if it was trying to form the shape of a letter.

               “There’s nobody here tonight, this blows!” Charlie shouts out even though I can still barely hear her. Everyone is outside either trying to unload equipment or bum cigarettes. “Well we did decide to do this on a Tuesday night at the Robin’s nest, what did you expect?” I shout back to her. A few die-hards fight mosh around up near the small stage moving in sync with the band. I never understood that type of movement at shows. It never ends well, I could compare that to spicy food. You only need just enough for that zing not so much that it ruins your meal and ultimately future health. “Balls, I’m getting something to drink, if you see Riley, I’m over there.” She yells over someone really smashed in the back shouting out ‘you stabbed my girlfriend Jason Voorhees!' A few more gather towards the front of the stage as their set comes to a close. Suddenly Jake comes at me from behind smelling illegal, “Dude! Where have you been?” He shouts directly in my ear while pretending to arm choke me. “I’ve been here the whole time? Are you high again? Where’s Tom?” I shout my questions at him. He sways enough to look like you could knock him to the floor by touching his forehead with just your index.

               “Aww man, he’s…. he’s taking a lap.” Jake finishes that with the widest grin. “Not the lap thing again! Why does he do that? That’s so petty!” I shout out as the band on stage wraps up with three people barely catching the singer from his dive finale. The lights come on revealing the billions of stickers caked on the walls and mystery stains on the floors. Robin’s nest is owned by a family. One of their sons is in my history class at school. The place is not much but great for quick improvised shows and cheap too. However, in the event that a fire would break out, we’d pretty much all die from being crammed like clogged marbles trying to rush out of the only exit.

               “Look, hey pay attention! You need you to go get him. Tell him we’re up next.” I finish that with my hands holding Jake’s shoulders firmly as if trying to channel out some of my stress. He responds back with a salute. “Dude? And I thought you quit? This isn’t Portland, you know?” I wish I didn’t say that last part as he goes in to bear hug me while singing some of the lyrics to one of our songs, “AND I'LL GO TO THE PLACES...I'LL GO TO THE PLACES WHEN WE WERE...YOUNG..”

Tom comes in through the door with Riley following behind him, “Hey man, who gave him the goods? You couldn’t cut him off?” I always seem to be the grounding rod of blame. Somehow it channels down to me, lovable-pushover-me.

               “Hey, I found him like this. It was probably those kids outside who should be home practicing their spelling bees or something.” I say as I hand him off to Tom while pushing his weight towards him. Tom holds up his head,

“Dude! CAN…YOU…HEAR…ME?” Tom shouts at Jake. Jake nods while laughing.

"He’s so baked man, let’s go on without him." Charlie says while shaking her head.

“NO!” Jake jumps up pushing us away. “WE MUST FOLLOW THROUGH!” He shouts out wide eyed.

               “Jake your high as hell and besides, you only have a couple of notes to play on the keyboard. It's not like you're performing your opus,” Charlie says in the driest of tones.

               “I DON’T CARE! THEY NEED ME!”

               “No, we need you to sit this one out buddy.” Riley says as he sits him down near the improvised bar in this hole-in-the-wall establishment. I look around and notice that there are more people gathered inside. Definitely violating some fire codes, but could they really be here for us? Tom jumps up on stage and then the crowd ignites with applause and cheering. What? We must have slipped into another dimension.