"Don't you worry bout a thing"

Hello Everyone,

Don't worry, I haven't quit writing. I have taken a small break and will be resuming my posting the 4th of April. Until then feel free to check out my previous posts and if you would like to, leave comments. Thank you everyone for your support!

Ignorance usually is bliss...

Robert left the office with a sick feeling inside him. He knew that the decision the board made wasn’t easy. There would be consequences to their decisions that awful day. How could he go about living his life now? Or worse, how could anyone else live theirs? He climbed into the black sedan and slid into the leather seats which were always cool and sterile. The driver looks into the rear-view mirror, 

“Am I taking you to the party, sir?”

“No, just take me home,” And the car rolls forward.

How could I let this happen? Robert thought to himself. The research put into the science was supposed to be for improving the lives of millions, and now something went awry. Probably something in the math. But where? An illegible equation. A forgotten digit? The science was so sensitive that several technicians were manning the research and spent several late nights going over the sequencing on and on and on. And yet, human error was still the victor. Now the board had executed an executive order to try to cover up the mess, but Robert knows that it is already too late.

He looks out of his tinted window only to see his reflection flashing on and off from the sunset peeking through the tall hi-rises. In his reflection’s absence, he would see the people walking along the busy sidewalks. Robert knew that there was nothing he could do to stop what was about to happen. There was no one he could save. The authorities if notified would not have enough time to act. All he could do was to just go home and try to enjoy one more night of the routine life.

“Are you okay, sir?” The driver asked him.

Robert delays his response still lost in his thoughts. “I’m fine Jeffrey. Just…a long day at the office.” Robert concludes with a faded smile.

“Oh yeah? Well cheer up. There’s always tomorrow.”  

“Yes there is…” Robert knew that that statement was hearsay which now caused him to well up in tears.

Arriving at his quiet apartment on the 34^th floor, he looks out across the cityscape marveling at the tangerine sky slowly being chased down by the violet night. That will be the last time the sun will set on a sane world (as sane as it can be) he thinks to himself. While taking a seat at the edge of his bed, he reaches under to pull out a box. He removes the top lid only to discover a picture of him graduating from MIT. He had so much promise and wanted to do so much good, but now the world will be altered for the worse. He did play with the idea of suicide but rather thought of it noble to stay alive and go down with the ship – owning up to his mistakes by bracing for what was about to happen.

Mar-Queso Feature: LOFTäN

             Photo courtesy of Sam Gehrke

Who would’ve thought that two women from opposite ends of the world would meet up in the Northwest only to form an organic indie singer songwriter duo by the name of Loftän? Julia from Germany and Janell from Oregon have put their talents to work as they have created some very original and rustic sounds along with exchanging humorous banters at several venues in front of many in the Pacific Northwest. Their songs are packed with lyrics drawing in deep emotion and honesty that could not be expressed in any other way.

MQ: I understand from your bio that you both met at a pilates class? (Correct me if I'm wrong - I apologize!) But before all of that how did you both individually get into the music scene?

Julia: Yes, we met a Pilates studio. I came in to take lessons and Janell was the one who ended up teaching me. And actually still is to this day, haha. Before Loftän, I was a hobby musician for a very long time, singing in choirs, playing in bands with friends, performing only on a few occasions. Always wanting it to be more than a hobby but not really getting anywhere because of different reasons. When I moved to the US from Germany in December 2014 for personal reasons, I didn’t know anyone here. I decided to finally give music a try just by myself as a singer-songwriter. I was ready to put all my heart into it, I started performing at open mic nights, made connections at a local recording studio, recorded some demos and as I was in the process of putting together a website, I happened to meet Janell. Because it seemed like such a great opportunity to start a project with her, I put my efforts as a solo musician on ice pretty much immediately and haven’t regretted it!

             Photo courtesy of Sam Gehrke

Janell: I have wanted to be a “rock star” since I can remember breathing, really.  I have always played music but mostly I have sang.  I studied vocal performance in college for a bit before switching to musical theatre which is what I finally graduated with a degree in.  I moved to Chicago right after I graduated college at the University of Oregon and met most of the people I started various bands with there.  We played around the city for a few years and then I met a producer at a record label I was kind of interning at and we both had dreams of Los Angeles in our minds.  We picked up and relocated to Hollywood, I recorded a bunch of music independently with him and my first solo EP was released on itunes in 2006.  It went nowhere.  In the meantime I moved back to Chicago and played in another band for a bit and then moved back to Oregon.  Music was always in my mind but I let it fizzle out actively. I had just started to really pick it up again and start writing when I met Julia!  We basically made a musical “date” and totally clicked and have always been on the same page.  I really got lucky she is as crazy about doing every single thing as I am!

MQ: What an amazing story! How did you both synch your musical styles and genius being from lands 5,000 miles apart?

Janell: Julia always comes up with sweet riffs.  Her style of writing music is really easy for me to collaborate with because I love it.  I love what she writes… like what it sounds like.  I feel like with my background in 90s grunge lends itself to coming up with interesting melodies and weird harmonies and the way I speak and phrase things is like a giant run on sentence so it’s...uh….different.  

            Photo courtesy of Vince Panero

Julia: I would say our first EP is a result of listening to each other first and then adding to each other’s songs next. We decided to take songs we had written before or at the very beginning of when we met and Janell added to what I had written and I added to hers. Now it has turned into a more collaborative effort from the very start. Because my native language is German I’d say I still approach writing lyrics in a different way. For this one song we recently sat down to work on lyrics and what ended up happening was that I described a situation and a certain feeling and Janell came up with some really cool ways to express that.

MQ: I just find that whole process fascinating. With that in mind, I wanted to know where you both draw your inspiration from. What artists are your all-time favorites? Films? Books?

Janell: I don’t read.  Julia doesn’t know how to.  Just kidding.  But I really don’t read much.  I also don’t watch a ton of films.  I do watch horrible reality television though (I love Vanderpump Rules).  I do have some old favorite movies...David Lynch films.  Stanley Kubrick films!  I love Led Zeppelin, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Pixies, LCD Soundsystem, old jazz music...when I write it is mostly about what I am feeling.  It is pretty personal.

            Photo courtesy of Vince Panero 

Julia: I’m really into reading biographies lately. I sort of stopped reading books in college. My brain can’t focus that long anymore sadly. But I picked up Kim Gordon’s “Girl in A Band” a while ago and finished it in under a year, which is pretty good for me ;) And now a friend lend me Carrie Brownstein’s “Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl”. Also, public transportation is a huge inspiration and I miss it over here. I got a good chunk of lyrics written commuting on trains in Germany. Here I have to stop in a parking lot when I get an idea. Less convenient. Sometimes I hit the record button on my iPhone while I drive and sing what my mind just came up with.

MQ: Okay, let’s dive into your music. Honestly I have to say how wonderful your music sounds. I was jogging the other day while listening to Doorway and the sun was setting and a freight train passed alongside me and it felt like I was in a moment with your music, hahaha it was really cool. Tell me about Doorway.

Janell: Awe that is so lovely to hear thank you for the compliment and the kind words!  What a compliment! Doorway was actually written ridiculously fast.  It was one of those songs that obviously needed to be out there because of how quickly it came about.  I started it because of this guy I had started seeing.  It was just this thought I had after I left his house one day...kind of like this feeling when you’re in the moment of being present and super stoked and then total panic of whether or not it will continue to happen….like the relationship.  But wanting it to.

            Photo courtesy of Vince Panero

MQ: How about Undercover Girl?

Janell:  I started writing Undercover Girl when I lived in Chicago.  It was probably in 2006.  I had one verse written and a couple of chords and it stayed buried deep in the hugely unorganized pile of musical ideas.  One day, about a year ago, I started to dig through it and found it and loved it.  It is this idea of a girl who nobody really knows because she keeps the vulnerable aspects of herself hidden.  She would love for someone to care enough to dig deeper but it never really happens.  People like to look at her as she is surrounded by “friends” but it is all a facade.  She ate lots of drugs to mask the pain.  HA this all sounds mildly depressing.  I guess it kind of was at the time.

MQ: I just have a couple more questions. I feel like Mystery Blue is an illustration of a mood where words are just not enough. What was the creative process like for writing that?

Julia: Let’s say this song almost didn’t make the EP because arranging it almost killed us in the process. We both attached lots of feelings to the vibe of this song and it was so hard to nail it down and we both wanted to do it justice. I learned how to use Logic’s software sequencer to program the beats just for that song. I watched video tutorials for hours on end. Yeah, and I recorded some guitar and then we did the piano track but muted the guitar while working on it - all of sudden we had this cool piano part but it didn’t fit to the guitar part, like at all. It was horrible at first, then we deleted the guitar part and added some other things that are not really instruments. In the studio we looked for sounds and found something that could be mistaken for a hairdryer… It’s all in there. I promise. So, long story short, this song feels like it had a life of its own and it just took us down a path with lots of rabbit holes but we made it to the end and are super proud of it!

MQ: I’m glad you stuck with it! I also love your short song, roomate, and there’s so many more but for the sake of time I just wanted to close with this question, you mentioned that you will be releasing your new music video next Friday. Are you able to disclose which song it will be?

Julia: Yes! We are going to release a music video for “Undercover Girl”. We kind of ran with the theme of hiding your true self and a word play on going undercover. We filmed with lots of our friends and had a blast shooting lots of different scenes in all kinds of locations. It’ll premiere on Friday and we’re doing a live stream celebration on Sunday, February 26th at 10:30am PST. We’re going to play some songs, we’ll do a Q&A and just hang out to talk about life and music. It’s going to be on YouTube and Instagram.

MQ: Can’t wait! Julia and Janell thank you so much for doing this. 

           Photo courtesy of Sam Gehrke

For more information on Loftan, you can find them on their website www.thebandloftan.com or check them out on the following links

Twitter.com/thebandloftan

Facebook.com/thebandloftan

Instagram.com/thebandloftan

Be sure to see their latest music video premiering below:

I am not a doctor...

 Please come in, have a seat Doctor Mario. How are you today?

I’m fine thank you. How are you?

Doing well. Now I was looking over your application. You have applied for the chief surgeon 

position here at the Mercy Memorial hospital, and I just had some questions.

Go ahead.

Well it says that you were the top of your class at med school and that you graduated as the Alma Mater, you received several merits and awards. You put here that you even successfully completed three residencies While that all looks good, but I just had one question…you never listed what school you went to. Only that you attended med school.

…Oh really? It doesn’t say? I thought it was on there. Hmm. Well I went to Northeast Scandanavia University. It’s foreign. The locals would call it NES for short.

Right..well I don’t see any references or contact numbers listed on your resume

I was the best at what I did.

And what was that? It says here that you specialized in…viruses?

That is correct.

Any in particular? Like the recent type 1 VP26 protein? Or the potato virus X?

More like the red, yellow, and blue ones.

Ok..

Look, I’ve done over several hundred operations. I’ve even gone up to level 21.

What is level 21? What does that mean?

90 viruses or more, you have to think fast and move quickly in matching the colors.

…I can see there is definitely a language barrier here.

The only barriers are when you mismatch the colors to the viruses.

Oh, I have to take this. Hello? Yes. He’s right here. Okay..I’ll send him up. Thank you.

Who was that?

That was your brother. He says you haven’t taken your medication and that you are not a real doctor. In fact, you have been applying at every major hospital along the eastern seaboard. He is coming upstairs to come get you now. Thank you and good day. 

5 Squad Cars, 4 Engines, an Ambulance and a Chief at 1 House

Loud sirens play into my music as I'm running through a quiet street, I mute myself only to see two fire trucks speeding past me. I stop to take a moment and try to see where they are going.

I resume and continue down the same street they were heading down. The track on the shuffle changes and then more red lights flash from behind. This time it is an ambulance. As I move further down the street, a series of red and blue flashes projects from a certain spot of the neighborhood I am slowly approaching. What could it be? I wonder to myself. Another fire engine horn blasts off. I turn my head to the left looking down the street parallel to me and see a large blur of more red engines speeding towards the gathering of the other lights. Seriously this must be bad if there are that many engines and a paramedic. Now I’m only a block from where they all are and now the fire chief speeds through with another engine!? As I get close enough to the scene, I noticed a handful of squad cars are there as well – closing off a section of the street they are on, centered on one house in the middle.

“Hey what are you doing?” Another runner crouches next to me as we attempt to hide behind some shrubs from a street on the corner of where the action is.

“How are there that many emergency units covering a small house in this city? Who are those in the hazmat suits?” I whisper-yell to the runner beside me.

“I don’t know, but there was something like this a couple of days ago down the street where I’m at.”

“What happened?”

“I couldn’t really tell because they…” He is interrupted as some shouting comes from inside the house they are surrounding.

               “…just take it easy…we are getting you out of your house…will take care of you…walk slowly…”

               “…I’M NOT LEAVING…THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN HERE SINCE….”

“Can you hear anything from inside there?” I ask.

“Not really, but I think they are trying to evacuate whoever is in there.”

               “…YOU COME IN HERE…AND TRY TO TAKE ME…ALL BECAUSE THAT…FACTORY OR PLANT…IS MISMANAGED…”

               “…we just want to help…please…with us…”

               “…HOW MANY OTHERS HAVE BEEN INFECTED…HOW ARE YOU...FIX THIS…”

“I heard something about a –”

“HEY YOU! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!” A fireman shouts at us but then turns quickly to see the house collapse in on itself. Response teams scramble quickly as a rush of cloud vanishes everything.  

“Did this happen at the one you saw?” I yell to the other guy as we run to take cover.

No Tip, No Peace

“Here’s your check, pay whenever you’re ready.” Says the waitress as she smiles at the four young men, she winks at one of them and leaves.

“Who’s got it this time?”

“I paid last time – “

“NO YOU DIDN’T! I DID.”

“Right, you gave me the money to pay for the orders, so technically I’m covered.”

“YOU’RE FULL OF CRAP!”

“Guys, guys, guys its fine…I’ll take care of it. Relax.” The third one says as he pulls out his wallet, peeling out cash.

While they are waiting for her to come back, one of them leans in closer to the other guy who was winked at by the waitress. “I think she likes you, man. Seriously.”

“I don’t know, she’s out of my league.”

“C’mon, stop that. Y.O.L.O.”

“Did you get that from SPIKE T.V. or something?”

“NO, it means, you only live once.”

The waitress comes back smiling at the modest one, “Thank you!”

“Hey umm, my friend here is really shy and was wondering if he could get your number.” The waitress looks surprised and runs her hand through her hair. “Umm..well I have a….okay.” She concludes while slightly biting her bottom lip. She scribbles down her number on a blank ticket followed by a hiss and tear of the sheet and reaches out for the shy one to receive. She shrugs her shoulders with a smile, “Call me sometime.”

The other one raises his glass, “Oh uh, could I get a refill before we head out.” She breaks away from staring as if awakening from a trance. “..sure yeah. I’ll be right back.” She takes his glass promptly and heads towards the kitchen.

“YOU DID IT MAN, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD IT IN YOU!” They say to him as he holds her number in disbelief.

“More like you guys did it, all I did was take up breathing space.”

“Naahh c’mon, give yourself some credit, after all you did manage to….” He is interrupted from a voicemail notice on his phone. “…shoot, I gotta take this. We need to leave here right now since I drove.” The four of them get up out of their booth.

“Oh what about the tip?” The other three search their pockets, “I don’t have any cash on me, it’s fine. 

Let’s just leave, it’s not that big of a deal.” They make their way to the exit. As the first one is about to push open the entryway to leave a shouting young woman exclaims, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME???” Everyone in the diner stops conversing and fixes their attention on the waitress (who by the way is pissed).

“NO TIP!?! Is this the way you treat your waitresses?? You just waste my time by not knowing what to order and keep having me take back your food all because the meat was too pink even though you ordered medium rare, and being loud and rude, and then having me whore myself out there for your quiet friend here??” She exclaims while slowly approaching them. The four of them put their hands up as if she were pointing a gun at them.

“Look, we apologize, seriously. None of us had any cash on us, just enough for the meal. I’m sorry.” The rest of them concur with quick nods filled with terror in their eyes. “Don’t you guys make enough in tips anyways??” The same scared man speaking for the group gets a hard slap in the back of the head from one of the guys behind him.

“Enough..in..tips??” The waitress asks him in a very dark tone. “Let me tell you just how much I make in tips and where that money goes.” She grits her teeth while pulling out a calculator from her apron pocket. “I work 10 hour days with an average of 16 customers like yourself who usually leave a two-dollar tip. Working 6 days out of the week. All that amounts to is about $200 a week just in the tips, I take home twenty percent of that – so $38!! With my base pay, it only adds up to $388. And then I have to pay the babysitter because daycare is too expensive, and then diapers, food, all because that father of his won’t pay child support!!” She escalates to more shouting. The guy with the number looks up shocked. “And yes, I have a kid! Are you okay with that or is that going to be a problem?” She firmly asks the guy holding her number. Before he can answer that, the waitress asks the man who presumed she made enough in tips. “So tell me, how much do you make?” 

She tilts her head to the side with her hands on her hips. “…umm well I’m a commercial developer and I –”

“AND YOU COULDN’T LEAVE A MEASELY TWO-DOLLAR TIP ALL BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ANY CASH?? GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! AND TAKE YOUR SCRUBBY FRIENDS WITH YOU!!”

The crowd in the restaurant cheer and whistle for the waitress as the front doors slam shut.

Progress Report - Sound Structure Excerpt

So a couple weeks back I was invited to have dinner at a friend’s house. During some of our discussions I was asked to read something from the books I am currently writing. To my friend’s defense, I was given ample time beforehand to read something days before the dinner, however as always I procrastinated what to read from one of my books plus I was very shy about it. If I had been more prepared and mustered up the courage to read something out loud, I would have felt confident to read this excerpt:

I slam the garage door behind everyone. Sierra finally catches up to me and climbs in through the driver’s side door without opening it. She slithers into the back seat and lays there wounded and nearly infected by them. I set Henry down in the passenger side and place a temporary barricade to the garage door. Thunderous poundings beat at the nearby walls and door. I can hear them so clearly, just itching to get to us. Their taunts are too real to let go. Heavy whispers dart at me, “Why are you trying so hard?” or “Just get what you want and leave everything else,” I stand there puzzled trying to register what is being said to me. Who is saying this?

  

“Tango. . .” I have never heard Sierra call out my name with such pity and weakness. “. . . I think we need to drive the car.” A couple of arms punch through the walls into the garage. “Let’s go somewhere else. . .” Sierra suggests as if she was asked what to do next on such a ‘casual evening’. 

I hear sirens from outside and the technotic beats are pulsating even louder to where I get down for cover. Henry is louder than ever as well, as he is left there crying. How did I get into this? I can’t take care of anything. Nothing is working.

Getting up and jumping into the driver's side, my right hand cranks one down on the gear lever, pulling out in reverse as the walls and door of the garage crumble down freeing the captive monsters into continuing their pursuit after us. I speed out of the neighborhood. Bodies fly up on the hood as I gun it forward. The windshield wipers smear out the dark sludge that was bled out from their eyes and mouths.  

Amidst all of this, an ongoing echo of a faded song from outside – above us, washes over the dome of the sky we are under as if high shrieks of a living being is dying slowly to a halt. Growls and snarls are ensued into the air being scratched in as I watch for more dark figures moving radically to catch up to us from my rear view mirror. 

I should be stunned with absolute horror along with my heart rate pumping in more and more adrenaline, but I proceed with my foot on the gas as I look out to see the faded emerald clouds being sucked out from the horizon, with the blackness encroaching so steadily sinking over the expanse with confident dominance. I take a peek at the folded piece of paper that the muted girl gave me while maintaining our hasty getaway. Unfolding it I quickly read out letters in misspelled crayon characters put together to create a message:  

No More Mountain . . .