"Please don't hit me."

“Its freezing out here,” I say to myself as a recent acquaintance and I are outside in the parking lot. “C’mon, just let it out. Say what you really want to say, stop messing around this time.” Carl dictates to me. Ok, I thought. I’m just going to say it. I get in a firm stance and take a step forward and then out comes, “Hello Mr. Thompson, I think that the company has been successful because of me and I could really benefit from seeing a promotion.” Carl stands back observant. “How was that? Good?” I ask with little confidence. “…What are you doing? I hate to sound mean, but it sounds like from what you told me earlier that most of your life, you've been a door mat, and it’s not just your job, it’s evident in life. You hold the door for everyone and settle, settle and settle. Look, the key to all this is to get mad. You need to stop worrying and start getting furious. How many accounts have you created for these guys? How many sick days have you EVER taken, none right? How many new employees have you trained?” I stand there buzzed by the amped up motivational speech. “More than anyone can count,” I say to him as he gets closer to my face, “Exactly! John, what is it that you want in life? Why are you so ‘stuck’? You know what you need to do, SO DO IT! You are an asset to this place, so stop being so passive.” Carl appears very emotional about this sort of thing. Honestly it all started as a friendly conversation with him and he asked me what it was that I do for work and forty minutes later, he’s suddenly become my ‘life coach’. “You aren’t going to hit me, are you?” I ask Carl to which he looks at me absurdly, “What? No!”

“Well it just feels like it because we’re in a parking lot at night and you're yelling and all and this sort of looks familiar from that one movie with Brad Pitt and that Ed guy.”

“John, you’re missing the point here! Stop thinking and start feeling! You know that deep down inside you deserve better, you have worked your butt off here and have devoted most of your functional years helping this company grow and how do they show for it? By giving you a new desk? That’s from what you told me earlier. No, no, no. These guys are playing you. You deserve a whole office with furniture, a freakin secretary, a new company car with a gas card – the works!” Carl turns away from me walking back to his car.

“Look, its easier said than done! I’m not like that. I am a quiet guy who just wants to do my job.” I say that while watching my cold breath in the night air. Carl stops in his tracks and returns back to me with a stern look. If he wanted to, he probably could kill me and hide my body. Next time (if there is a next time) I will think twice before griping to a complete stranger. “Just wants to do my job?” He repeats what I said in disgust while I go into flight mode, running away from him as he continues to shout at me, “You can have anything you want in this life, but you have to sacrifice something! You could continue down this path, but you are giving up the potential respect others could have for you! OR...or you could sacrifice your fears and gain growth and ownership to everything that you already should have been entitled to. And get off of that fence, I'm not going to attack you!”  

"It's not you, I just felt like climbing this, that's all!" I shout down to him while holding on for my dear life. "John, I'm not leaving until I hear what you need to say to your boss, from the heart!" He barks up to me. I stay there attached to the fence with the sharp pains in my fingers from the grips of the ice cold chain links. I close my eyes and start to shout, "Listen dammit! I’ve been working for you guys for the past 8 years, and I demand a raise and a promotion or else I’m walking out of here to someone who will pay me for what I’m really worth!" I open my eyes only to find him running towards his car and speeding out of the parking lot with two police cars chasing him with their lights and sirens.